Believe it or not, that very question is tricky even for us, French people!
On the face of it though, the logic is simple:
'tu' = 'you' singular and 'vous' = 'you' plural
Except that 'vous' is also the polite 'you' to be used in all social occasions with people you do not know, who are older than you and higher in the hierarchy than you.
And that's where it can become tricky.
As far as I can see, no one really wants to use 'vous' if they can help it, but our incredibly strong social conditioning tells us that we have to stick to it at all costs. Even if we don't like using it, even if we're getting friendly with the person, even if it maintains a distance between us and others. Most of the time, we are simply not meant to shift to 'tu'. One of the many reasons why I love the English language, is that there is only one way to use 'you', which saves a lot of time and energy.
Here's a little story to show you what I mean: the minute I was able to travel to France, when the pandemic restrictions had been lifted, I jumped on the Eurostar to see my family and friends. On the way back to England, I was sat with three women, a mum and two daughters. Very quickly, we started chatting about France and England, the pandemic, families, etc. We shared food, they even gave me a banana that an aunt had brought back from Guadeloupe. Needless to say, it didn't taste at all like your average supermarket banana. And all the while, we were saying 'vous' to one another!
Having lived 24 years in England and spoken the English language since the age of 7, I feel comfortable saying fairly quickly to people 'Shall we say 'tu'?' because I'm used to English being not being formal at all. My question is invariably met with a smile and relief! Because ideally, no one wants to use it, except... we all do all the time!
Of course with the person selling you a baguette in the boulangerie, it's normal and respectful to say 'vous'. Politeness is expected of us and understandably so. As it is with a boss, although some might let you say 'tu' to them.
If you want to have a laugh, google the words 'Macron', 'jeune', 'tutoiement', and you will see a short video of the president putting a teenager saying 'tu' to him and called him 'Manu' (short for Emmanuel) sharply in his place.
Because we're not always sure if we can shift to 'vous', we sometimes dance around, avoiding sentences that will make us choose one over the other, tying ourselves up in knots in the process!
As I say to my students, the fact that there are two verbs ('tutoyer' and 'vouvoyer') and two nouns ('le tutoiement' and 'le vouvoiement') to describe the act and process of saying either 'tu' or 'vous' is a sure sign that this culturally significant.
So what are you meant to do when speaking French? My advice is to err on the side of polite and always use 'vous', thus avoiding any faux-pas. And wait for the French speaker to potentially suggest switching to 'tu'.
And remember, even if they stick to 'vous', it does not necessarily that they want to be formal, only that they feel they have to!
Don't hesitate to get in touch if you have any questions!
#languagelearning #languages #language #languageskills #onlineteaching #frenchteacher #french #anglaisenligne #anglais #anglaisprofessionnel #onlinelessons #learnenglish #learnfrench #learningtips #languagelearningtips #frenchvocabulary #french idioms #frenchforwork #studentfeedback #teachers #teacherslife #freelancer #freelancing
Comments